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No face as hideous as mine was meant for Heaven's light
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| Unable to focus, must change this. Also, totally hungry. | ||||
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| Okay... So I feel sorta guilty, but not really. My ex was using my credit card information, right? So I still have his email password. So I logged in so I could disable the paypals and remove my credit card from the charges he was racking up. So I was looking at the email and it turns out.... He's GAY. He's advertising for men on Craigslist. Oh holy god. Even more so, (this is where i'm past forgiveness - i'm officially snooping) he's been wanting to be with men since before we broke up. This confirms 1. He was with me out of convience and not out of a relationship sense 2. I was right when I first met him and thought he was gay 3. I attract soft boys. I feel awful! He only had to be honest with me and we could have avoided the past two years and being miserable - most likely he would have liked to avoid all four of them. I feel bad for the guy, really. He's what, 28 now?? In male gay culture, that's like, 70! I don't need to log in anymore, so I won't be doing that. But WOW. I was taken aback. In other news - I got my first lap dance on wednesday. Don't know how I feel about that. | ||||||
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| Sorry guys, went crazy for a little bit. Back to normal broadcasting soon. | ||||||
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| I'm going to be abandoning this dj for a while. I haven't decided if I'm just deleting it, making it friends only and cutting all the names out and then re-adding people at a later date, who knows. Nothing against anyone, I just have a lot of shit to deal with and I need something a little more private to rant in. of course, the standard ways of contacting me(for those of you who know them) are still applicable. Just DJ wise, I need some more privacy while I sort things through my head. So, uhm.... in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night | ||||
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| out of town for two days. back to find one cat missing (i think dante killed her) and two feet of water in my basement. hizzah. | ||||
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| i am getting my phone tommrow, new number, same phone. the rightful order will be restored. expct a strange text mssage from someone tommorow with a number to save | ||||
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| i make a lot of mistakes and i'm okay with that. and if no one else is okay with it, then i'm okay with that, too. i still call do-overs. | ||||
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| I am sick, i have bronchitis i think. my cat won't stay away from me. brandon thinks it's cute. my mom said that my nose looks like a cokehead's. at work, they asked if my TB was acting up again. i feel like death and overall so miserable that i cannot sleep. | ||||
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| I wanted to play the "goes" thing before i went to work - you know, like five minutes of laughter. do you know what showed up? Allison is waiting at her window Waiting for me to take her away from Allison's problems and Allison's cares Allison's beauty has gotten her nowhere But Allison knows that everyone goes away sometimes And everyone knows that Allison goes to sleep alone In Allison's house, the windows are locked and the walls are bare There's no one walking upstairs In Allison's house, her life is all over the floor And her problems pile up behind the door So she can't get out But Allison knows that everyone goes away sometimes And everyone knows that Allison goes to sleep alone In Allison's bed, there's room enough for two But one side is staying cold So Allison can take up all the covers And hide the fact that she's growing old But Allison knows that everyone goes away sometimes And everyone knows that Allison is going to sleep early tonight Allison is haunted by her lovers And the memories of those she never knew Now she wishes she'd done differently But now there's nothing that she can do But she still waits For someone to show Does Allison know that everyone goes away Does Allison know that no one can stay for very long with Allison - does she know that no one's coming back Does Allison know that everyone goes away And everyone knows that Allison goes to sleep alone tonight I Allison still staring out her window Or has she given up and gone to sleep © copyright 1987 Stuart Piltch wtf man? | ||||||
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| still alive. the magazine is on newsstands now, so those of you in ohio can totally get in on the allison awesomeness. have some other things working... hopefully good things. | ||||
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| speaking of which - why is it that all of my music is like.... trancy/jungley? | ||||
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| Acctually, not really, but pretty darn close. Anyone remember that little game review community that I had a while back - you know, the one where there were like, six contributors, and the only one that did was me? Yeah, coming back now? the one that defucted after like, what, two months? Ahhh, there it is.. Weeeelll - How cool is this - there is a gaming zine that is local to my city, they were looking for contributers/reviewers, i responded ,they wanted to see what i had done, I directed them to the community, they read my reviews and HIRED ME!!! What!! I'm the geek girlfriend you WISH you had! I write video game reviews for a small portion of my living... Word. even more hot - It's primarily RPG, tabletop, CCG, Larps... extreme geek So i've submitted a couple of articles, etc, and I have my first interview with an actual game design company - evil hat productions - w00t sauce. I'm slowly working on this whole writing thing - freelancing is easy - i jus tneed to start focusing more on what I want to write about and go from there. Hopefully - by this time next year, i will be solely independently employed by copywriting, freelancing. Hopefully. | ||||||
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| can someone tell me what about me makes it so easy for people to trample all over me? Why is it so easy for people to just take advantage of my kindness and then fucking shove it in my face? seriously - fuck this noise. I don't care anymore. i'm sick of being the nice person. the one you can count on. i'm backing out of the fat girl mentality - the last shred of evidence that i once was one - and stop trying to please people. screw it. i fucking hate this and have no one to blame but myself, for believing that there are people in the world that acctually care about something other than themselves, that believe in an archaic concept of friendship that is so out of touch with the apathetic state of human nature that the only people that get hurt are those who believe in it. nice guys finish last, eh? i'm sick of being last place, with my little ribbon that says "great try" - it's bullshit - last place shouldn't win ribbons anyway. I want the blue one, the gold medal, and in order to get there, fuck everyone else. let's see what it's like to be self serving. | ||||
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| (not directed at anyone from deadjournal) I hate you all. very, very much. and I think that by fiegning ignorance amoungst the way of child killers you are desperately trying to preserve some since of innocence that you lost long, long ago, my poor pitiful friend. | ||||
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| I have pictures from the now infamous four-way birthday bash... as soon as I get some time this week, i'll post em' for y'all... and i promise not to talk like a hick anymore. | ||||
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| My roomate/best friend/soon to be former bff is pregnant. By my other roomate. her husband doesn't know yet, as he is leaving for iraq in about six days. | ||||
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| hey hey! what's up? oh yea? that's awesome! | ||||
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| I am not ashamed of the following statement: I absoultely love the song "crazy in love" by beyonce. And i am not ashamed as to who knows it. In fact, I am so okay with who knows this that I am willing to post this on my non popular, anonymous, online journal. Thank you. | ||||
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| b - "see that? That right there? That's what's missing from Lara Croft now. It needs to go back to Lara croft is a badass, not Lara Croft has a hot ass" | ||||||
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| B- "That ending confused me" Me - "Yea, me too" b- "I mean - why end a movie like that to where you don't understand it? That's confusing!" Me - "I understood it - that's why it confused me" | ||||||
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No face as hideous as mine was meant for Heaven's light
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